How to make LGBTQ+ friends in a new city | Finding queer friends with Lex

Making new friends when you move somewhere new as an adult is notoriously hard, but it doesn't have to be hard anymore to find meaningful queer friendships thanks to apps like Lex. That’s why we’ve compiled our tips on how to find new queer friends, whether or not you just moved to a new place.

Get to know yourself and your hobbies to form more meaningful queer friendships

It might seem counter-intuitive, but one of the best ways to make new local LGTBQ+ friends is to feel comfortable spending time doing things alone.

Connect with your hobbies by seeing movies, making art, or getting into a new sport - it’s easier to make meaningful relationships with people when you’re confident about how you like to spend your time. Then, you'll have an easy foundation to start new friendships through. You'll have common interests to talk about or hobbies to enjoy together, and that takes the pressure off finding something to discuss.

Find a queer ‘third place’ and become a regular

There’s a concept people talk about called the third place - we have our workplace and our homes, but it’s important to find another place where you can be at ease & interact with other humans. We’re social creatures and crave connection, and even a little idle small talk can go a long way in making you open for new relationships!

Post on Lex to ask where queer people in your area go to hang out and get out there. Bring the latest queer fantasy novel to a coffee shop, take a pottery class, get a library card, find some sliding scale yoga classes in your neighborhood - whatever it is, become a regular! As faces become familiar, your weeks will be filled with more friendly smiles (and someone might see what you’re reading and ask you to join their queer book club 😉). Asking queer locals for recommendations might mean you bump into someone you messaged with on Lex, and you'll have already taken the first steps to making a new friend.

Keep an open mind

If you like someone's vibe on Lex, take the plunge and send them a DM! Making friends can feel a lot like dating at times, and that's to be expected. Just because you and someone else are both queer, doesn't mean you'll necessarily have a ton in common. And if someone doesn't look like the type of person you tend to be friends with, it's possible you'd have more in common than you'd expect!

When you're connecting with new queer friends, keep an open mind. You just might be surprised and find yourself with a vibrant queer community that's nothing like you'd have initially expected.

Get creative with your plans

There are tons of things you can do with new friends that take the pressure off getting to know each other and make it more about enjoying the things you have in common. Exploring your neighborhood, sharing hobbies - whatever it is, don't just limit yourself to chatting with someone at a coffee shop, even if the gay barista is cute! If you're new to the neighborhood, lean into that and step out of your comfort zone.

Put yourself out there with apps like Lex to connect with your local queer community

When you’re feeling ready to meet some people, download an app like Lex to connect with other local queer people. Lex gives you a chance to connect over interests first rather than looks like some other apps.

Be bold and reply to someone’s post or write your own! You can post saying what you’re looking for - maybe a friend to go to that yoga class with you, or someone to see the latest queer horror flick with!

Join a club with local LGBTQ+ friends on Lex (or start your own!)

If you’re looking to find a crew, try finding a group chat on Lex that aligns with your interests or hobbies. There are queer basketball clubs, book clubs, group chats that connect over identities like queer Black parents, demisexuals, queers over 40. You name it, Lex has it!

If you can’t find a group chat in your area that gets you excited, make your own! You can post in the feed to gauge interest and then take the plunge.

Know that you’re not alone

There’s a loneliness epidemic - so know that if you’re having a tough time meeting new people, you aren’t on your own. Other people are out there looking for connection just like you. Keep putting yourself out there, because queer friendships can be some of the most enriching relationships 💚

Join Lex to find friends who get it.

Q: How can I make new friends in a new city, especially in the LGBTQ+ community?

A: Making friends in a new city can be tough, but it's totally doable, especially within the LGBTQ+ community! Start by doing things you love solo, like catching a movie or trying out a new hobby. You'll feel more confident and ready to connect with others who share your interests.

Q: What's the deal with finding a 'third place' for making friends?

A: Think of your 'third place' as your go-to spot outside of work and home where you can kick back and chat with folks. It could be your local coffee shop, a cozy library, or even a fun yoga class. Being a regular there can lead to some awesome spontaneous hangouts!

Q: How can I use apps like Lex to meet new queer friends?

A: Apps like Lex are great for meeting cool queer folks based on shared interests rather than just looks. Dive into the app, browse posts, and don't be shy about replying to someone's invite or posting your own. Whether you're into yoga or scary movies, there's someone out there waiting to hang!

Q: Any tips on finding LGBTQ+ clubs or groups to join?

A: Absolutely! There are tons of clubs and online groups for every interest within the LGBTQ+ community. On platforms like Lex, you'll find group chats for things like book clubs or chats for specific identities, like queer parents or demisexuals. And hey, if you can't find one you love, start your own and see who's interested!

Q: What if I'm feeling lonely and struggling to make new friends?

A: You're not alone! Lots of folks feel a bit lonely when they're trying to make new connections, especially in a new place. Hang in there and keep putting yourself out there, whether it's at events, online, or just striking up a convo with a friendly face. Building friendships takes time, but it's worth it for the awesome connections you'll make in the LGBTQ+ community!